May 24, 2011

The pain of ending one life...and beginning another.

I went shopping today. The trip was supposed to be a prep-my-life-for-wasteless-living trip, and I was ridiculously excited to get to the shops and gather my ZW necessities. Unfortunately, I was too excited.

It is absolutely an addiction and a high for someone like me to be in shops with limitless options. I even found myself eyeing things that weren't ZW to start my ZW lifestyle. How much sense does that make? And it's made more difficult by the fact that the line becomes finer and finer the closer one gets to actually acting in a wasteless or zerowaste manner; until of course, one sorts these issues out for oneself so as to never ever have to deal with them again, if at all possible.

Reusable Bags--not always an ecologically sound choice
An easy example is reusable shopping bags. Sound great. They are great. But they're not all created equal.  I'm not just talking about differing sizes, or the fact that some stay open and others are forever floppy by design. Some reusable bags are made of plastic, or poly-something-or-other which is an awful lot like plastic, or perhaps you find a lovely great big canvas tote, only to find inside the manufacturer has taken the liberty of coating the bag with that's right, plastic!--to waterproof the item, or even just to make it look "cooler."

Breaking the Addiction to "Normal" Consumption-Mode
These types of choices make my head spin. And yet they are still very tempting to me. I'm just a beginner after all, and now realizing that it will be a true process of learning and of learning to let go, in order for me to free myself of convenience mind. My materially and convenience-addicted mind says, "how do I know that that barely noticeable lining is actually plastic, and even if it is, how do I know it's the common non-biodegradable variety and not some new generation compostable plastic." The addiction wants my convictions to remain unconscious. But no more. The truth is that really, when I step away from the pretty bag I know the best answer is to avoid temptation, avoid purchasing anything questionable.

Transitioning off the Invisible KoolAid
But having said that, I am going to need to define for myself what I will and will not accept in a product. Then, I'll modify as I become more entrenched in purposeful living. For now, I'm going to start with not allowing my convictions to sleep, but still be gentle with myself. Changing a lifetime addiction to convenience and to blissful ignorance is not going to happen overnight.